Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance
by Mayofish
Summary: And by the way, I made it through the day. Reincarnation Fic. Masamune/Yukimura/Sasuke
1. Chapter 1

It's sunrise and Sanada Yukimura doesn't know why he is awake.

Sarutobi Sasuke won't be the one to tell him.

The younger man rolls over; he knows Sasuke is awake too. They don't speak. It's like this for a while and it's just today, no other day of the year. Yukimura wonders why but never ever asks why he can't sleep, why his neck aches, and why Sasuke is jumpy.

Sasuke, though, knows - remembers.

The redhead sits up and walks to the bathroom. The shower turns on. Yukimura's alarm goes off. Then, the air a little lighter, the brunette inhales and it's okay.

Sanada Yukimura is young and naive, but never stupid. He stretches and waits for Sasuke to finish in the bathroom. Yukimura never questions their relationship, never questions the day Sasuke came out of the blue and never questions the closeness Sasuke enforced. Yukimura enjoyed it - even if he didn't understand it.

Sasuke has been with Yukimura for as long as he could remember and now, even in college, they are close. Yukimura works hard in his classes and Sasuke works hard in everything else. Life isn't easy but if it was, Yukimura thinks it wouldn't be as fun.

Sasuke knows Yukimura doesn't remember and Sasuke is glad. Yukimura would be bitter, but maybe he would also be less prone to heartbreak and maybe less drawn to - Sasuke growls.

They all think it's because he's jealous, but the truth is even more pathetic, Sasuke thinks. He's scared. Scared that the past will repeat itself.

And Sasuke will never forget that day.

That day several hundred years ago from today.

They had both died that day, you know. And Sauske had tried so fucking hard to protect him - and he failed. That's probably the worst part of it all. Sasuke fell first and it was pathetic.

It had been the cold wind and the wave after wave of attacks. It was Ieyasu who had led it and Mitsunari had long since abandoned them all. Yukimura, loyal to the end, though would not give up. Yukimura was loyal to the point of death, and that day proved it.

Sasuke gave his life to protect him but Yukimura couldn't kill the man who killed him. Yukimura had loved that man and that man had always used Yukimura for his own selfish wishes.

Sasuke hated it.

But he was glad Yukimura didn't remember. He didn't remember any of it. They say ignorance is bliss and Sasuke half heartily agrees. Sasuke never found other men attractive, never felt drawn to them, but even in another life, years and years and years later, Sarutobi Sasuke still found his way back to Sanada Yukimura.

And Sanada Yukimura still found his way back to Date Masamune.

Sasuke hates their closeness, hates that Masamune doesn't remember, hates that because of this Sasuke has no right to hold a grudge.

But Sasuke hates Masamune. Yukimura, though, is dangerously close to falling in love (again). Falling in love with the very man that killed him in his past life (again). Sasuke hates it and curses the gods for it all. It was like that, even back then. Masamune used Yukimura, even now and even then. Sasuke knows that it may very well end the same way. (he swears he won't let, he swears.)

Sasuke knows that, he too, is dangerously close to falling in love. But Sasuke also knows there is now way around this - it is fate and it is history on repeat. Sasuke just hopes that his attraction won't make him weak like it did before. Sasuke has and will continue to lay his life down for Sanada Yukimura. And that is the only reason Sasuke, as a shinobi, remembers.

Shinobi is not a title; it is a bloodline, a trait that will follow him no matter how many times he dies. The memories of all his past lives haunt him. But he has found Yukimura again, and Sasuke will not lose him. Never again.

"Your turn, Danna." Sasuke is drying his hair with a towel as he exits the bathroom.

"Why do you call me that?" Yukimura walks past him with a pout.

Sasuke wants to kiss it off his lips.

He shrugs. "It's a habit."

And Yukimura asks no questions, only shuts the bathroom door.

Sasuke hates it when he showers. He hates it all. He hates how it makes his mind wander and how only Yukimura makes him think this. Yukimura is his weakness and he hates it.

Sasuke hates a lot of things. But most of all, Sasuke loves Yukimura in a way that he wishes Yukimura would understand - would return. It hurts.

Sasuke falls onto his bed face down, and stares at Yukimura's cell phone. He touches it softly, before flipping it open and diving head first into the personal affairs of the brunette. Texts from Masamune fill his inbox and Sasuke wants to gag. He resists the urge to throw the phone and places it back where he got it.

The sound of shower stops and Sasuke bites his lip.

_'Damnit.'_

He grabs his phone and shoots a text to Kasuga.

He uses Kasuga to forget. Kasuga knows this and Kasuga understand because Kasuga remembers too. She is a shinobi just like him and just like him, she is searching - always searching. They both use each other to forget, just as they always do and always will.

They are all drawn together, but that doesn't mean they will always find each other.

There have been times Sasuke has searched, and hasn't found Yukimura. And like those times, this is a time when Kasuga is still searching for her lord. Sasuke knows the pain.

But they have each other.

And it's lust, nothing more, they promise each other this, because they had already promised their hearts to others.

Yukimura leaves the bathroom, his hair spiky and damp. He's wearing a t-shirt and a red jacket. He's tying his hair back and Sasuke enjoys that he has not changed.

Yukimura is grinning as he gathers his books and Sasuke finds himself smiling right along with him. He starts to head out the door, and Sasuke stops him.

"Let me give you a ride."

He drops Yukimura off at the college and the young boy meets Masamune at the stairs. Sasuke growls protectively. It hurts - the way Yukimura smiles and blushes and the way Masamune smirks like a shark.

Yukimura doesn't see it because maybe it's not really there.

But Yukimura could never see what Sasuke could see.

He watches and he hates it and one day he will be able to sallow his pride and break down in front of Yukimura. But not today.

_A/N: I really have no idea what this is. Its brain vomit and will continue to be brain vomit I write at work when I am bored. If you want plot, look elsewhere._


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke is able to tell how much longer they have by who Yukimura meets. He always meets Masamune first. Shingen is already gone - early and maybe he's stopped reincarnating. It happens from time to time. He spoke about Keiji yesterday. They still have time. Today Sasuke saw Motochika - Tsuruhime not far behind.

Sasuke smells another Shinobi at the bookstore while picking through history books for Yukimura. Yukimura doesn't understand his fascination with the Sengoku Era and Sasuke won't be the one to tell him.

Time is passing fast.

Ieyasu and Mitsunari should show up soon. Sekigahara is right around the corner. Sasuke holds his breath. A few more years.

It's the wind that alerts him.

"Eh, Kotaro. You remember too." Sasuke is feeling the weight of a book, touching it softly.

It's a shinobi thing, Sasuke thinks.

Fuuma Kotaro's bright red hair is covering his eyes and he turns to look at Sasuke. He nods.

"Found Hojo?"

The air becomes heavy.

"That's a no," he shrugs and pauses, "Kasuga hasn't found Kenshin."

Kotaro picks up a notepad and scribbles something down.

A phone number and an email.

"I'm guessing I shouldn't call..." Sasuke laughs and Kotaro frowns. He's a mute, Sasuke found out. It's not that he won't talk, it's that he can't. He was a different kind of shinobi - but still a shinobi nonetheless. For him, vocal cords are a weakness. Sasuke wonders if he misses talking.

"I'll let Kasuga know where to find you."

He nods and Sasuke buys a pack of gum from him at the front counter along with a book - Sanada Brave Ten.

Sasuke meets Kasuga at the cafe. He tells her about Kotaro and Yukimura and how time is passing. They agree to meet back at his apartment.

Kasuga is firm in her resolve and there is still time, she says, Kenshin is still out there.

"You should go talk to Keiji," Sasuke offers. "Find him together."

Sasuke doesn't mention that Shingen has stopped reincarnating and has reached the End.

Kasuga's eyes narrow. She doesn't like Keiji.

"Keiji remembers."

Its strange, but Keiji is at one with all of this and even though he is not a Shinobi, Keiji remembers.

"Keiji is of no concern to me." Her answer is cold but Sasuke knows she will anyway.

"Find him before he finds Magoichi," Sasuke laughs and if it was any other time, she would have thrown a kunai at him. He would have caught it in his mouth too. Like always.

She stands up to leave and they exchange no more words. Yukimura would be home soon.

Sasuke stretches out on his bed, tossing and catching his phone.

Time continues to pass and Sasuke wonders if he could ever stop it.

And Yukimura still isn't home. Sasuke checks the time. He should have been home hours ago. He's scared suddenly and sits up.

The door opens and Yukimura slinks in.

"Oh, Sasuke, you're still awake?" His face is flustered and Sasuke hates it because he knows.

"Studying with Masamune?" His voice is cool, calm and collected.

There are marks on his neck and now Sasuke is jealous. This has happened before.

Yukimura blushes, he's sore and it's visible in his movements. "Y-yeah!" Loud as always.

Sasuke hates Masamune.

It was later that night when Yukimura rolls over.

"Sasuke," he whispers and Sasuke shuddered.

"What?"

"I think I like Masamune."

A pause as Sasuke tries to remember how to breathe. He saw this coming, he did.

"I know." Sasuke replies. It hurt.

Yukimura remained silent.

Then, "I just feel like I've known him forever."

Sasuke turns his head to look at the younger boy. "Do you feel that with me?"

Yukimura thinks for a moment. "I feel that with a lot of people. But with Masamune...It's just..."

"Danna. Get some rest."


	3. Chapter 3

Yukimura cares deeply for Sasuke, but Yukimura was young and naive and thought Masamune's lust was love. Sasuke was proud and prideful and some day he would tell Yukimura the truth - some day but not today.

Sasuke doesn't want the day to come, but he knows it would, the day Masamune broke Yukimura's heart.

Sanada Yukimura was never one to question the strong draw he felt to many of the people he met, Yukimura took what he could get. He loved Sasuke and never paid much mind to strangeness of the situation.

Date Masamune, on the other hand, was different.

Yukimura loved Sasuke, this was true. The draw towards the older man was strong, stronger than most, but so was the draw he felt for Masamune. Sasuke was a presence that was comforting, warm. Masamune was different, he had always been different - dangerous and lovely.

Yukimura was not bothered by his attraction, but after years of waiting for Sasuke to make a move, he was pleased that someone was finally showing some interest in him. Yukimura loved Sasuke, but Sasuke was not the kind of man to like other men, and Yukimura finally withdrew and gave up trying to get attention from the older man. (Even though Sasuke was always, always willing to give it to Yukimura.)

Masamune though, was quick to act, quick to sweep Yukimura off his feet. Masamune was a rebel. Masamune wasn't one who wanted a long-term relationship, with Yukimura or with anyone else, but that was not something Yukimura needed to know.

Yukimura was quick to give up his virginity as a sign of what he thought was love, and Masamune was quick to take it, quick to lead him on and quick to pursue the topic in the first place. Yukimura pushed himself through the pain because maybe he enjoyed it and Masamune was not a cuddler after it was all said and done.

Yukimura returned home to a slightly bitter tone in Sasuke's voice and butterflies in his stomach. Yukimura didn't notice Sasuke's bitterness, and Yukimura didn't notice the hurt.

It happened like this for the first few weeks and then maybe a month. Then finally, Masamune began to become bored and more interested in others.

Yukimura at first did not understand, he was confused and naive, not one to jump to conclusions. He was hurt by it, but kept telling himself that Masamune loved him. Yukimura withdrew and tried to prove his love. Masamune, though, would have nothing to do with it. As Yukimura withdrew from everyone else, Masamune withdrew from Yukimura.

Sasuke saw it, Sasuke sensed it, and Sasuke saw it all coming.

Yukimura, though, would not talk to Sasuke about it.

Masamune saw no problem and maybe this would be what Yukimura's death would entail. Finally, though, it all came crashing down. Sasuke watches, pained, and Masamune is simply amused.

Maybe this is Sekigahara. (but they knew it wasn't, not yet, not yet. There's still more time.)

And Masamune just waves him off, laughing. It was all a game, Tiger, don't get so worked up. Yukimura died then - emotionally.

"You heartless bastard," Sasuke snarls, getting ready to pounce. Keiji hold him back because Keiji knows, Keiji always knows.

"Calm down, Sasuke..." Keiji whispers and it hurts, god does it hurt.

The one-eyed dragon grins and Yukimura's face is twisted. Sasuke grabs his arm and leads him away. Keiji is disappointed - in them, in the way it turned out, in the pain.

They split apart then, like Sekigahara. (More awkward, less bloodshed.)

Yukimura didn't speak for a long time, just stayed curled up in bed. Sasuke hates it, hates Masamune.

"It hurts so much, Sasuke," Yukimura whispers, finally, breathing again. The air breaks, mentally, Yukimura died that day.

Finally, Sasuke grabs the young boy, tried of seeing him hurt, and holds him close to his chest. The sun is setting.

"Danna..." Sasuke breathes.

Yukimura whimpers, hesitates, and returns the embrace. It makes Sasuke's heart jump. Sasuke inhales his scent, and he wants to kiss him.

"W-why do you call me that?" Yukimura asks and it won't be the first nor the last.

Sasuke smiles.

"Because you are my master, my general." - _mine. _

And Yukimura smiled back - slightly and Sasuke almost thinks he remembers. The shinobi brushes back Yukimura's hair, kisses his foreword softly and everything will be okay.

"Sasuke..."

"I'm here, I'm always here."

Yukimura knows, Yukimura feels it. "We died."

Sasuke is shocked but he nods. "We did."

"Why do I remember now?" his head hurts.

Sasuke can't answer because he doesn't know either. He shakes his head.

He's remembering, Sasuke feels it. Sasuke wonders if the others are remembering too.

"You need to rest, Danna."

Yukimura's head hurts. Sasuke wonders what its like to remember. Yukimura nods, slowly letting go of Sasuke, and crawls into bed. He falls asleep soon after and Sasuke returns to his own bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Yukimura loved Masamune and it was a draw, a pull, dangerous in itself and poisons to all else. Yukimura broke himself down for Masamune, just to prove it. Masamune, though, wasn't one to fall in love, but he was close, too close for his own comfort.

They are all so so so close.

They will kill them all. It was an infection, you know. This whole slow spreading poison of love and rebirth and pain and the never ending cycle of death. The shinobi know too well that sometimes they don't all come back.

_("Lord Kenshin!" And she's crying out for him again and again. _

"_He's out there." A short and single bout of reassurance and maybe it's true. Sasuke is touching her softly, pleading with her, his head hurts, his heart hurts. He could love her if he tried. He could love her if he could forget. He could love her if not for Yukimura.)_

The attraction is terrifying to Yukimura and a game to Masamune. They are close, always so close, Yukimura thinks. He breathes in the other man's scent. Masamune flinches not from the close contact but because this is not right. Right?

"Do you believe in fate?" The words are faint and Yukimura is staring straight ahead.

"I dunno." A shrug from Masamune. "This just…Feels right." A temporary flash into Masamune's heart, his head, his soul. It feels right but it doesn't. He's fighting it, just like he feels they should be at each others neck. Sweat and spears and swords.

What is he thinking? _This has to right. _(no, no, no)

It's just a feeling, always a feeling, never a memory.

Sasuke's heart is breaking from across the cityscape. Yukimura almost feels it.

_(Sasuke's hands are shaking and it's so so so close. Motochika slaps his back._

"_You okay, bro?"_

_Sasuke, sweating and cursing, bites his lips and nods. The beer clutched in his hands is still burning in this throat._

_Motochika laughs, taking a swig of his rum and Keiji is watching Sasuke with eyes that shine with a knowledge he should not possess.)_

They don't understand how they both know each other, how they both know more than what has ever been spoken. They go with the flow and it is easy, never forced. Masamune is scared, slightly confused, and concerned.

This isn't how it should be.

It's a thought etched deep into his skin, under it even. They should be fighting, passionate in battle, passionate in rivalry. Not in bed, not in romance. _Not. Like. This._ Masamune doesn't love Yukimura, love is a game, love is war.

But the war is over? It flashes through his mind.

No. The war is never over. And even though Masamune doesn't remember, he knows this, feels this. They are forced to forever relive it. A curse, Sasuke thinks. A curse from the Demon King, Kasuga muses. Kotaro will always nod in silent agreement.

But this Yukimura doesn't know. This Masamune doesn't know. Masamune feels it. Yukimura though is not as in tune with his past, his senses as Masamune. Masamune withdraws. This isn't how it should be.

It's a slow process, a process they all see coming. Keiji preaches about love. Masamune flirts with others. Sasuke tries to keep Yukimura away. Yukimura sticks closer. Kasuga is searching. Masamune is playing the game.

And Masamune never loved Yukimura. And Masamune never fought for Yukimura. They were always on opposite sides. It's fate.

Sasuke doesn't believe in fate and Sasuke watches it play out in slow motion. The withdrawal and then the betrayal. They can never stop the replay.

They will kill them all. Their relationship will be the death of them all. It always puts the whole game into motion and it always ends it. They're all drawn to the relationship of the tiger and the dragon. They're all drawn to the colors red and blue.

Ieyasu is on the move. He's coming in from the East. Mitsunari is working as a reporter, already here. It's so so so close. They are all so so so close.

The memories come and go, a slow fade in and out—flashes. They remember, but they don't. They will never remember like Shinobi. Yukimura awakes after all is said and done.

"A dream?"

And Sasuke won't tell him.

"We died."

And Sasuke can't tell if he thinks it's true or not.

"What a strange dream."

And Sasuke gives him a halfhearted grunt of agreement. Ignorance is bliss.


End file.
